I have been reading and listening to James Clear‘s book, Atomic Habits. In it he states that it’s better to focus on improving the system rather than reaching for a goal. A goal, while necessary from time to time, shouldn’t be the end-game. It’s just a marker on the road. E.g., if you’re a runner, you run regularly; you don’t just train for a marathon. If you do, once the marathon is over you had better have another marathon in the queue or you’re much more likely to stop running regularly.

This make a lot of sense to me as I’ve seen this exact behavior in my past for many years. I’ve studied for several different IT exams, only to stop my regular studying practice once I passed the exam or simply decided the certification I was going after wasn’t necessary.

By using a system I would be more focused on continued learning instead of focusing on a goal…an exam. “I am a continuous learner,” instead of “I am studying for exam xyz,” makes a lot more sense in the long run.

I’ve been getting up at 5:30am every morning for a while now to read and watch training videos in the IT field. Just in the last few months I feel like my general IT knowledge has skyrocketed because of this practice. It’s my quiet time to decide what I want to look into, and how deeply. If I’m studying for an exam, great! If not, what other information do I need to investigate or refresh?

Now if I could only put this in the context of keeping up with my writing, exercise, finances, and spiritual goals…baby steps.

Ernie Ayres

I know someone that feels so much regret over past mistakes that it has slowed him down, almost to a stop, from time to time. Well, used to anyway. “I really should have called more,” or “I really shouldn’t have been such a jerk.” Does this sound familiar?

Granted, a line does exist between regret and grief. There’s also a line between stupid and illegal. If you’ve ever made a huge mistake though, maybe treated someone very poorly, how do you move on? Can you allow the other person to forgive you? More importantly, can YOU forgive you?

1. Acknowledge the mistake. Yep, it happened. Don’t minimize the effects or the hurt, simply acknowledge that you could have done X but instead you chose Y. And also, don’t beat yourself up about it; just acknowledge.

2. Think about how it happened, why you did it and how you can keep it from happening in the future. This is the time to beat yourself up – just a little. Enforcing “Why I don’t ever want this to happen again” will help you to notice the next time the potential is there to royally screw up again. However, this time you’ll change it. And sometimes you just do not know why you zigged when you should have zagged, even if done intentionally. Don’t get caught up in the why in that case. Sometimes, writing it all out on paper helps to sort through the mess.  Realize your action and move on to number three.

3. Apologize if appropriate. There are times when apologizing just may not be the best thing to do. The offended party may not be ready to hear it. It may stir up too many negative feelings. If it is appropriate, swallow your pride and do it! A simple apology could be the difference between awkward situations in the future and a really good, strong friendship.

4. Promise yourself to continue improving. This could also read, “Notice the small improvements!“. You’re not going to change overnight. Recognize the small victories and build on that. As you focus on improvement, the mistakes and regret will get further away and out of focus.

5. Repeat #4.

6. Move on.

You are the only person that can gauge your progress and know where and how much improvement is necessary. Remember, growth only comes from getting out of your comfort zone and pushing yourself to new limits.

Have you been able to overcome regret? Are you still struggling with it? Let us know what you did to feel better by leaving comments below.

Ernie Ayres

I had a manager several years ago that freely gave me much needed advice.  He told me stories about people he knew, family members, even fellow co-workers.  Each story had a purpose.  It was to teach a lesson or share a bit of knowledge.

Now that I’m in a management position, I find myself constantly going back to certain nuggets he would impart.  One such gem is “Slow plus sure equals fast.”  Simple, precise, easy to remember.  I find myself saying that phrase to myself at least once a week, if not several times a week.

One such time was during a server restore.  Sometime during the day a critical database server crashed.  I was rushing around trying to hurry up and fix the server.  People were calling me and out of nowhere, the company VP walked into the server room to see if he could “lend a hand.”  I knew that meant it needed to be fixed soon and that time is now!

As soon as he left I found myself panicking.  I’m not a DBA (Database Administrator) nor do I have any clue as to the procedure of restoring this server to working condition.  Then it hit me. Slow + sure = fast.  I may not have it back up in five minutes, but by slowing down and paying attention to what I was doing, I could be more accurate.  I then remembered that we had paid DBAs on-site so I got them in there to help.

I also use this mantra all the time in dealing with ADHD.  I’ve come to realize that if I focus on one thing, I may be moving slower but at least I’m getting something done.  If I had a nickel for every time my mind started to wander and I spent the afternoon trying to do five or six things at once and actually got nothing done!  By keeping a stack of index cards with me at all times, I can write down random thoughts that pop into my head and address them later.  Oddly enough, just writing the erroneous thought down lets my mind forget about it.  ADHD 0 – Ernie 1.

Here’s a great article from Success.com that roughly relates to this.  It’s short so take a minute and read it.
http://bit.ly/oKMHat

Let me know what you think about Slow plus sure equals fast.  I’d love to hear from you with examples of accomplishments by using this, or ways to make yourself slow down.

Ernie Ayres